What is your sober/clean date?
March 31, 2010

What are you recovering from?
Alcoholism and a complete inability to live life on life’s terms

What made you decide to come to Stepping Stone Center for Recovery for inpatient treatment?
My life was unmanageable, and I was completely powerless to stop the insanity. While I seemed to be ok with staying that way, my wife was not. She issued an ultimatum: treatment or we’re done. That brought me to Stepping Stones.

Did you make the decision on your own, or did your family, work, courts, church help you with the decision?
Family helped. My older sister found Stepping Stone online, and, as we saw above, my wife lovingly nudged me to check in.

What did you learn about yourself and your disease while you were at Stepping Stone Center for Recovery?
I learned that I am completely powerless over alcohol and over life in general. I learned that I could not overcome this alone and that the only a power greater than myself could save me. I also learned the basic daily things that I need to do to maintain my sobriety: pray in morning and at night, call my sponsor, go to a meeting, talk to another alcoholic, and read some AA literature.

While in treatment you were introduced to the idea of changing people, places and things. What changes have you had to make on your journey of recovery?
I did a lot of my drinking in isolation, so the biggest change I made was to reach out when I feel that old loneliness take hold. I, of course, stayed away from bars and parties where alcohol would be served until my sponsor gave me the ok. Now I can go to those places if I have a good reason to be there.

How do you maintain your sobriety today?
I remain willing to do what is asked of me. I stay active in my home group. I go to a meeting and call my sponsor every day. I maintain my connection with my Higher Power through prayer and meditation. I remember what it was like that day I checked into Stepping Stones, terrified that I would never be able to recover. And I live life to its fullest while striving to practice the AA principles in all my affairs.

What would you say to someone to help them make the decision to go to in-patient treatment?
There is no better environment for learning about your illness and developing the tools needed to maintain lasting sobriety. When I was in treatment, I found out so many things about myself that I am now able to use in my daily life, and I was able to work through some of my more serious emotional issues with the guidance of both peers and trained professionals. Finally, treatment helped to put my hand in the hand of the greater recovery community so that I knew right where to go when I got out, and that particular connection has proven to be invaluable in my long-term sobriety.

Give an example of a situation you have done differently since maintaining your recovery.
My wife and I had an argument, and in the past I would have used that as the perfect excuse to get drunk. I would drink to numb the pain and to teach whomever I was angry with a lesson. I felt completely powerless and desperate to stop my head from spinning and to quell the emotional pain. Rather than picking up, I did something completely different; I called my sponsor. He was able to talk me through it (and in his loving way helped me to see where I was in the wrong). Of course, my wife and I made up, but the experience taught me that I did not have to drink to numb my feelings. With the help of God and the Program, I was able to manage my emotions and deal with them in a grown-up way.

Overall how would you describe your experience of inpatient treatment helped you to transition into the real world as a sober productive adult free from alcohol and drugs?  Would you recommend inpatient treatment to someone?

I say it all the time – Stepping Stones saved my life, AA taught me how to live, and God made this second chance possible. So I would definitely recommend inpatient treatment to others who are ready to stop using but have found that they cannot do so on their own. The key is that you have to go into it with an honest tongue, an open mind, and a willing heart. It is a guarantee that you can only get something out of treatment if you put some work into it. But I’ve come to find that, when it comes to God and AA, a little effort reaps untold reward. With a solid foundation beneath me as I left Stepping Stones, I was able to return to work and have rebuilt the marriage that I thought I destroyed beyond salvage. Most importantly, Stepping Stones taught me how to balance all of that with my daily recovery work. To admit utter defeat and check into treatment is truly one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I do this work because of the challenges.

It helps me stay focused on the process rather than a specific outcome. I stay challenged by finding ways to roll with someone's resistance.

Often, people seek help… because they want the pain to stop. When they find out all the work involved… they decide they don't want to do it. My job is to let them know what course their disease will take and what will happen in their lives if they don't do the work now. When [the pain returns] they will remember and they will know what to do.

There is always a small window of opportunity through which the light of recovery and God can get in. I love finding it and helping the person to allow it in. It's like playing spiritual chess... The work that I do now will not [always] bear fruit until some time in the future. I may not see it. Because of faith in the 12 steps and the magic that they can work, I know it will produce a miracle. People come up to me and tell me, "I was your patient 10 years ago; I wasn't ready to change then. When everything you said would happen did, I looked for the solution you had told me about, and my life is amazing now. Thank you". Those moments make up for all the sadness of those who walk away.

There's the joy of watching someone's eyes light up when they "get" [what] they are doing… and decide they can stop. I love being there for the "aha" moments. I feel grateful that I get to watch miracles happen on a daily basis. I have a flashlight and I know where to point it. After that, I just hold spiritual space for people to look, recognize and do their work. It's an amazing process.

Ire Davis, M.S.W.

Help Yourself by Helping Others

If a family member or friend is in need of help, call an Admissions Coordinator for advice. They can get you a copy of our Intervention Guide, a “how-to” kit for convincing a loved one to get treatment.
Call 1-800-884-1727.

When I think of summer today, it is different than the summers when I was trapped in addiction.  Then, every day was just another day run by addiction. In recovery, summer time is a time for family, fun, and the great outdoors.  Now, in recovery, I think of parks and swimming and going through the lazy river at “Typhoon Lagoon” while basking in the rays of the sun.

Summer is a wonderful season. It is another chance to create a fresh start.  In 12 step programs, there is an expression:  “You can start your day over at anytime.” Well, isn’t that expression applicable to our daily lives?  If I don’t like the course that my life is taking, I can re-evaluate what it is that is not working and then I can make the necessary changes; I can start fresh.  I learned many years ago in my recovery that I can make a decision and I can change my mind if it doesn’t work for me anymore.

Summer is yet another opportunity to reap the benefits of living a clean and sober life.  Beach and pool parties, barbeques, meetings, fellowship, family and friend’s are all great reason’s to enjoy this summer.  Learning how to have balance in our lives is part of the journey of recovery. We work so we can enjoy our lives, pay our bills and save for the future while living in the present.

Make this summer the best summer yet.  Find the time to stop and enjoy the great outdoor’s; and spend some time with others in recovery.  Being sober affords us the lives we never thought possible while using, enjoy each moment as it is a gift of the present.

Stepping Stone Center Webinars Series

Stepping Stone Center For Recovery in partnership with Lakeview Health Systems and Recovery Connection has launched a new recovery webinar outreach program for graduates of the treatment facility and those in recovery.

This webinar series, coordinated by Alumni Services, is available to all graduates and anyone working on recovery.

The focus throughout the series will be maintaining sobriety, providing new drug and alcohol information, offering tips and exercises, guest speakers, and other issues of concern to our viewers. The webinars are designed to help recovering addicts weather the daily stressors of living, strengthen their sobriety and continue to grow personally.

Viewers can mark their calendars in advance for the last Tuesday of every month at 6:30pm. This project was designed to help graduates and their friends stay connected to Stepping Stone Center For Recovery as a vehicle for ongoing support.

We look forward to your comments, suggestions, and questions. In addition, the link below will allow you to review any webinars that you wish. They are always free.

Should you ever need help with recovery, please give us a call at 1-800-884-1727.

We are in the process of building a buddy program and need alumni to help.  This program is designed to connect newly discharged patients with recovering alumni. The buddy system will help those just out of treatment stay focused while they build their local support group. If you are interested in becoming a buddy volunteer, you must have at least a year clean and sober, be attending meetings, and working the 12-step program. If you are interested, please contact Joanna Painton-Hathaway at 1-800-833-9057, or e-mail her at jpainton@steppingstonecfr.com .

Your participation will help you and others stay clean and sober. “You have to give it away to keep it.”